Showing posts with label girl stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label girl stuff. Show all posts

Fussy Over His Laconic Texts

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- We met three weeks ago and hit it off tremendously. He asked for my number. We've hung out about six times. -BlahBlahBlah- Maybe after the third week of hanging out he started becoming more quiet and I started becoming more open and flirty. -BlahBlahBlah- He flirts some but he mostly seems "whatever". -BlahBlahBlah- When we texted yesterday he basically called me cute, -BlahBlahBlah- I said I liked him "subliminally" through the question game, and he said he liked me back. -BlahBlahBlah- He said he loved talking to me and I always made him smile. -BlahBlahBlah- what concerned me was he said "lol" after alot of things and ":P". -BlahBlahBlah- He told me he struggles with relationships due to his insomnia but he never indicated he was shy, just that he liked staying in. But after those texts last night, he was the last one to respond and he hasn't texted since. It's only been a day and he usually just texts at night... but that bothers me too. I feel like i'm the last thought on his mind. I need a complete, realistic response to my question. -BlahBlahBlah- I'm 18 and he's 21. I'm a senior in highschool and he's in college. -BlahBlahBlah-





Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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You're 18 years old and you think you can accomplish things subliminally?
That makes sense because you're stupid.

This all reads like he probably didn't know you were in high school when he got your number. Two other things he's probably learned about you are that you're stupid, and you're boring.

Being boring is something a girl like you can get away with for the next 5 years, so don't sweat that. And please, don't go out and do something like getting a tattoo to try and fix it; that won't work.

Being stupid is your biggest problem.
Let's examine this statement: "I need a complete, realistic response to my question."

You didn't ask a fucking question.
Does that help illuminate why his use of "lol," and ":p" might seem off script?

Your conflict is apparent because stupid-fussy-girl is a universal language on par with square roots in mathematics: the determined value is either positive or negative and can't be discovered without an incentive to do a bunch of work.

This guy is indifferent because he knows that what you want is not aligned with what he wants.

The irony is that in 6 months, we'll be able to look back upon how little sex he's had with his peers, which will make the dismal 3 months of baby-steps and butt sniffing, with you, totally worth having a fly, soaking wet, 18 year old coming over on Sunday afternoons to bang.

Now it's obvious that you're not sexting nor sending dirty pics, because if you were you wouldn't be having this issue.

It's totally fine if you're too much of a prude to be building sexual tension with this guy, but you have to produce some sort of value in that department.



My advice to you: Wait until Monday to text him, and when you do, ask "Did you get lucky this weekend?"


Ultimatum: Bro's vs. Ho's

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- my roommate -BlahBlahBlah- his oldest friend was dying and her last wish was to get married and walk down the aisle as a bride-BlahBlahBlah- no honeymoon or bachelor party, the girl just asked her oldest friend, my roommate, to be the one to stand with her at the alter before she passed. My roommate being the good guy he is agreed. My roommate also has girlfriend who -BlahBlahBlah- supported him for doing a good deed for a friend.

-BlahBlahBlah- last night my fiance calls me around about 12am -BlahBlahBlah- to ask me if i knew my roommate had a girlfriend at the time he got married to his friend. -BlahBlahBlah- my fiance errupts over how it was wrong of him to do that, and that he is a bad influence on me for doing what he did. -BlahBlahBlah- negative influence. And gave me the ultimatum of either ' her or him.’

-BlahBlahBlah- i was disappointed in how she could be so heartless towards tony's situation -BlahBlahBlah- My fiance then begins to express how i dnt care about her feelings -BlahBlahBlah- dont respcet her feeliings and even if i disagree with her i should go along with her and not pick my roommate over her.

-BlahBlahBlah- She's currently not speaking to me -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Oh wow, a short-sighted, knee-jerk reaction goes to an argument, then to an ultimatum, then to an accusation that you don't respect her feelings.

Normally I'd blame this on her period, but she's your fiancée so we can sort of rule that out and go with the harsh reality that she's made you her bitch.

Lets review the facts:
She thinks you're easily influenced.
She thinks you should bend to her will.
She thinks you should be punished.

Come on dude, did you really propose to an audacious, judgmental turd or was the engagement her idea?

This is probably some ploy to get you to move in with her.



My advice to you: Don't talk to her for a week and she'll either cool her heels or gross you out. Either way you'll win.


Finding a Summer Babysitting Gig

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- im a twleve year old girl -BlahBlahBlah- lookiing for a babysitting job during the summer -BlahBlahBlah- im having a hard time trying to find one -BlahBlahBlah- what can i do?

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Put this babysitters club, kids love me, fun summer job, fantasy bullshit out of your head.

First off, nobody wants to hire you because you're a shitty little 12 year old who will be all shitty and 12 years old, and when mom gets home at 6:00 she'll walk into a house that'll look all shitty because a 12 year old was left in charge.

Hey, as a twelve year old, you might be pretty smart, but as a human you're FUCKING stupid. Like... people wise, you belong to one of the stupidest demographics on earth... 12th stupidest to be exact.

Your skills are not marketable.

My advice to you: Sex sells. (I'm talking about your advertising; don't sell your body.)



Shouldn't He Be Willing to Do the Things I Like if He Likes Me?

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Dear Right Advice,
If you really liked a woman -BlahBlahBlah- be willing to do things with her once in a while that may not be your FAVORITE thing to do -BlahBlahBlah- Just simple things like going to the mall, or seeing a chic flick, watching a stupid reality show -BlahBlahBlah- but you know she finds it interesting? -BlahBlahBlah- its what they like and would make them happy? Isnt is sometimes just the little things?

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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If girls like you were sending me money, I'd say that this sort of thing should be a give and take. But realistically speaking: you and I can both agree that you don't know shit about what guys like to do, nor do you care to learn.

Usually when a guy does girly shit with you, it's so he can increase his odds of sleeping with you by spending time with you. If you're already sleeping with him, then these "Simple things" will just seem like work. Unrequited efforts.

Every guy has already been down that road with some girl and all it's done is make him hate your stupid "Simple things," even more. This is not a gender divide. We actually resent having to be your bitch for a (unbirth)day, to prove we like you; because, seriously, where's the payoff?
Are you actually going to set aside two hours for him so you can go shoot bottle rockets at each other?

What's more, do you know why he never asks that you partake in HIS "Simple things?" Because girls girl up guy stuff and make it suck. Most things, that guys like to do, get done alone and if you think that you can fill in for another guy and Pitch, or Steer, or Row, or Lift, you're just going to get yelled at... until you quit, and then he's going to have to apologize.

My advice to you: Go make some girl friends.