Neighbor's Dog

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- heed the old saying that you "can't pick em". I could use some great advice regarding their dog. -BlahBlahBlah- RIGHT below our bedroom windows. When in the dog run, this dog barks, and barks and -BlahBlahBlah- 6AM -BlahBlahBlah- 11PM -BlahBlahBlah- I asked sincerely if they could possibly move their dog run to the other side of their house (where they have loads of room). They stated "Absolutely not! This side of the house has shade, that the dog requires in the summer." -BlahBlahBlah- Although I'm not looking to be close, I'd like to be cordial. -BlahBlahBlah- barking collar -BlahBlahBlah- quite certain they would take offense -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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I'd suggest coaxing the dog to jump the fence so he'll hang himself by his own leash. The next best method would be to poison the dog, but that could lead back to you. Of course you could always make the dog disappear and leave it to some kids down river to find its bloated body in a burlap sack on the banks. When I was a kid, I knew a family whose beagle met the same fate, however, now that I'm grown I realize that it wasn't that they happened to live near evil people, but that they - themselves - were merely retarded dog owners.

If you had a fraction of the balls required to snuff out a dog, you probably would have used said fraction to call the authorities because THERE ARE LAWS in place which protect your rights to quiet space.

Sadly you'd prefer to abandon your dignity and enable the audacious alpha-neighbor because you think you can keep a peace that is long fucking gone. The fact is, you have a shitty neighbor who has a shitty dog that makes your life hell.

Until we put children on dog runs, or until dogs stop shitting and fucking in the streets, you need to commit to the fact that dogs are not people; they are accessories. And this dog is just as invasive in your life as a flood light aimed at your bedroom window (which you would have sabotaged ages ago.)

My advice to you: Go to the bridge you wish existed and burn it.