Fussy Over His Laconic Texts

______________________________________________________________


Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- We met three weeks ago and hit it off tremendously. He asked for my number. We've hung out about six times. -BlahBlahBlah- Maybe after the third week of hanging out he started becoming more quiet and I started becoming more open and flirty. -BlahBlahBlah- He flirts some but he mostly seems "whatever". -BlahBlahBlah- When we texted yesterday he basically called me cute, -BlahBlahBlah- I said I liked him "subliminally" through the question game, and he said he liked me back. -BlahBlahBlah- He said he loved talking to me and I always made him smile. -BlahBlahBlah- what concerned me was he said "lol" after alot of things and ":P". -BlahBlahBlah- He told me he struggles with relationships due to his insomnia but he never indicated he was shy, just that he liked staying in. But after those texts last night, he was the last one to respond and he hasn't texted since. It's only been a day and he usually just texts at night... but that bothers me too. I feel like i'm the last thought on his mind. I need a complete, realistic response to my question. -BlahBlahBlah- I'm 18 and he's 21. I'm a senior in highschool and he's in college. -BlahBlahBlah-





Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
______________________________________________________________



You're 18 years old and you think you can accomplish things subliminally?
That makes sense because you're stupid.

This all reads like he probably didn't know you were in high school when he got your number. Two other things he's probably learned about you are that you're stupid, and you're boring.

Being boring is something a girl like you can get away with for the next 5 years, so don't sweat that. And please, don't go out and do something like getting a tattoo to try and fix it; that won't work.

Being stupid is your biggest problem.
Let's examine this statement: "I need a complete, realistic response to my question."

You didn't ask a fucking question.
Does that help illuminate why his use of "lol," and ":p" might seem off script?

Your conflict is apparent because stupid-fussy-girl is a universal language on par with square roots in mathematics: the determined value is either positive or negative and can't be discovered without an incentive to do a bunch of work.

This guy is indifferent because he knows that what you want is not aligned with what he wants.

The irony is that in 6 months, we'll be able to look back upon how little sex he's had with his peers, which will make the dismal 3 months of baby-steps and butt sniffing, with you, totally worth having a fly, soaking wet, 18 year old coming over on Sunday afternoons to bang.

Now it's obvious that you're not sexting nor sending dirty pics, because if you were you wouldn't be having this issue.

It's totally fine if you're too much of a prude to be building sexual tension with this guy, but you have to produce some sort of value in that department.



My advice to you: Wait until Monday to text him, and when you do, ask "Did you get lucky this weekend?"

Girls Making the First Move

______________________________________________________________

Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- so what do guys think about girls who make the first move? If I see something I want shouldn't I go after it??? and how do I go about doing it??? I work with the guy so I don't want to be infront of a whole bunch of people but -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
______________________________________________________________

On the topic of "What do guys think about girls who_______," we don't think about the stuff you'd put in that blank. What we would put in that blank - such as eat cottage cheese from the container, wear toe socks or always swoon when a fit man of color passes- you'll dismiss as not important. So what do guys think about girls who make the first move? We've never really thought about it. Additionally, the only guys who might find it unappealing would be guys on TV or guys in the closet; both of whom you will never sleep with.

And you want to know how to go about making a move??? Pass him a Fucking Note!
Obviously you havn't done that yet because you think there is some sort of magic word or sequence that will make him fall for you. Obviously you want a relationship from this guy if you need to be calculating, and the fact that you ARE calculating your next move, means you probably creep him out.

I'm not even going to pretend that I can advise on how you might be able to trick him into a relationship. But, if you're interested, I can tell you how to get his belt off.

Buy a microscope. Seriously! Nothing fancy, just make sure it goes down to 1200x.
Take it to work, show it to him, let him play with it. Everyone loves a microscope.
To kick up the fun, say shit like "In the name of science!"
Later in the day, ask if he's ever seen his come under a microscope. Riding the Science theme - no strings attached, just science - invite him over to your house. Make sure he doesn't try and cut you out of the coming process. Say something like "In the name of science I think I need to oversee the collecting of all samples."
Then M-bate him infront of a mirror and say dirty stuff so he starts to associate you with stuff beyond the office.

My advice to you: Turn him out and then trap him in a relationship.