White Flight

______________________________________________________________

Dear Right Advice
-BlahBlahBlah- I was involved with a black guy for a while and we had a son together. I recently was dating a white guy -BlahBlahBlah- I didnt see the need to tell him about my son being mixed. One day we were wanting to have dinner together -BlahBlahBlah- told me it was fine to just bring him along, he wanted to meet him anyways. Well i show up to meet him and about half way thru dinner he just blurts out " what did you see in me if you usually date other races?" -BlahBlahBlah- We split up the next week after he started asking a lot about guys I used to date. He's not the only one to start asking questions when they have seen my son -BlahBlahBlah- makes a guy lose interest, even though they know I have a child. -BlahBlahBlah- is dating a girl who has a child that is bi racial really that big of a deal for guys? -BlahBlahBlah- a double whammy for me since a lot of guys don't want to date single mom also.

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
______________________________________________________________


First off, I can't get enough of single women blaming their kids for hurting their market value when it comes to dating.

Anyhow, an often-overlooked side effect of listening to chauvinistic hip hop, during one's formative years, is that it makes white men fear that one day they'll find out about how, in college, their white girlfriend went to a 2 Live Crew concert and had the train run on them. Oddly enough, when a white guy dates a black girl, such thoughts don't even enter his brain. This is probably because the ethnocentric part of our brain needs to be addressed in our first impressions of someone. So when this guy met your son, he made all sorts of connections in his head which he never got a chance to address. Suddenly he's got to look back with a different lens, and he has to quickly gather info to address the new question- "Just how down does a guy have to be to date her?"

And, nobody will tell you this, but there's a strong chance that your youthful mannerisms morph into some perceived "Hood," shibboleth once they find out that you have a kid with a black man. It's not that guys have a problem with you having a multi-racial child; it's that they have to confront this in a backwards fashion and that's not something that we all get the chance to practice.

My advice to you: Rename your kid something more... ethnic.