Looking for Tips so this Will be Worth it.

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- girl that I met back in 2005 overseas -BlahBlahBlah- 3 day weekend full of passion -BlahBlahBlah- chatting ever since. -BlahBlahBlah- get a little horny while on messenger -BlahBlahBlah- helps me masturbate by writing dirty things. -BlahBlahBlah- last chat session I was so horny that I asked her if she would mail me her panties -BlahBlahBlah-wet -BlahBlahBlah- she said yes. -BlahBlahBlah- How can I make her wet her panties the most? Should I ask for white or black panties -BlahBlahBlah- thong or -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Thinking this was fake I decided to see if I could find your myspace, and I learned a lot about how fucking retarded you are.

For those of you who do not know, when a white guy - with super saiyan hair - says "Overseas," he means Asia.

And the girls you bone in Asia will indeed keep contact with you via english practice. And most of those girls pretend to get wet for a living. So essentially, all you have to do is ask for them to be really wet, and she'll moisten them using every trick she knows.

And then - lucky you - you'll have panties soaked in OrienTalia!

It will be a nice conversation piece for you and your smell-my-fingers buddies who will all stand around your beer pong table evaluating their authenticity and concocting details about this girl's lifestyle based on olfactory intuition.

My advice to you: Ask her to invent a pair of panties which will defy the laws of evaporation during international shipping.