My Teen is Not Motivated to Get a Job

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- I need ideas on how to motivate my son to find a part time job. He's 17 -BlahBlahBlah- I've sat with him & shown him how to search for jobs online. I've also told him to go around the shops to look for adverts in shop windows -BlahBlahBlah- he won't do any unless I prompt him & then he quickly forgets about looking for a job. -BlahBlahBlah- I'm considering this....if in say 5/6 weeks no job, then I'll limit his pocket money -BlahBlahBlah- If by another 5/6 weeks no job, I'll reduce it again -BlahBlahBlah- In another so many weeks & still no job = no pocket money. The next step will be that he'll have to pay for his own guitar lessons -BlahBlahBlah- is it a good idea to go down this route or is there any other way I can motivate him? -BlahBlahBlah-


Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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So, this kid has got 15 weeks before you stop giving him money and paying for his guitar lessons?

Come on lady. Teenagers don't self motivate when given 4 months of slow acclimation to being broke. That's a good way to teach the kid how to survive being poor, but if you want him to get a fucking job, maybe you should try parenting.

Remember how there was a time when your kid would - like - starve whenever you'd forget to feed him?

It's kind of like that.



My advice to you: Get off your ass and go find your son a job.

Creepy, Leering Neighbor

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah-There's a man who lives in my building, who is much older (15 years, maybe more), who I'm not attracted to at all -BlahBlahBlah- A little while ago, some neighbors were talking, -BlahBlahBlah-They introduced me to him. . -BlahBlahBlah- a couple of weeks later, I'm doing my laundry at the laundromat, I can feel someone staring at me. It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him. -BlahBlahBlah-I quickly looked away, -BlahBlahBlah-I didn't even look at him as he was talking to me, and hurried out. -BlahBlahBlah- a couple of days ago, as I'm leaving my apartment -BlahBlahBlah- I hear this voice, and it's him, trying to strike up conversation with me. Once I saw who it was, I quickly looked away, and walked as fast as I could. -BlahBlahBlah- This man can't seem to get the clue that I'm not interested. -BlahBlahBlah- This man gives me the creeps. -BlahBlahBlah-


Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Look, I get it. Our patriarchal, rape culture imposes upon women the insistence that you should all keep your head on a swivel just in case you might accidentally give off hints that you're asking for it because creepy men are forgivably enslaved by their uncontrollable libidos.

But if you liberate yourself from this oppressive mind set, what this boils down to is that this stalker-ish man is just an asshole with bad manners.

In the realm of rigid gender roles, you're perfectly within your right to seize your role and alert this guy to the fact that he's being fucking rude.

It's rude to stare.

Are you that fucking afraid that some creep is going to accuse you of being a lesbian? Come the fuck on!



My advice to you: Give him a manners check. It's not getting uppity... it's acting "ladylike."

Fast Food Lawsuit

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- Yesterday I visited a fast food chain and ordered an ice cream shake. -BlahBlahBlah- After removing the top and starting to eat it, I all of a sudden began choking on something. -BlahBlahBlah- became scared. -BlahBlahBlah- a friend was nearby to render first aid assistance. After finally spitting it out, it was discovered to be the plastic frosting tip used to put whip cream on top of my shake. -BlahBlahBlah- hate to think what would have happened had I been alone. -BlahBlahBlah- tell me if I have a case -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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I'd say you definitely have a case if you can find counsel willing to argue that fatties bomb on shakes with methods so fervent, that fail-safes like straws, lids, lips, tongues, and teeth are rendered ineffective when detecting foreign objects large enough to be lodged in the throat.

I think there's a good chance you could get a court ordered warning printed on every cup; maybe like "Careful, something's about to go in your mouth!"

If you're hoping for a cash settlement then try and get the defendants to focus away from the fact that NOTHING FUCKING HAPPENED, and don't let them dwell on how being too afraid to eat fast food and ice cream is - for you - a really good thing.



My advice to you: Chew your fucking food.

Shouldn't He Be Willing to Do the Things I Like if He Likes Me?

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Dear Right Advice,
If you really liked a woman -BlahBlahBlah- be willing to do things with her once in a while that may not be your FAVORITE thing to do -BlahBlahBlah- Just simple things like going to the mall, or seeing a chic flick, watching a stupid reality show -BlahBlahBlah- but you know she finds it interesting? -BlahBlahBlah- its what they like and would make them happy? Isnt is sometimes just the little things?

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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If girls like you were sending me money, I'd say that this sort of thing should be a give and take. But realistically speaking: you and I can both agree that you don't know shit about what guys like to do, nor do you care to learn.

Usually when a guy does girly shit with you, it's so he can increase his odds of sleeping with you by spending time with you. If you're already sleeping with him, then these "Simple things" will just seem like work. Unrequited efforts.

Every guy has already been down that road with some girl and all it's done is make him hate your stupid "Simple things," even more. This is not a gender divide. We actually resent having to be your bitch for a (unbirth)day, to prove we like you; because, seriously, where's the payoff?
Are you actually going to set aside two hours for him so you can go shoot bottle rockets at each other?

What's more, do you know why he never asks that you partake in HIS "Simple things?" Because girls girl up guy stuff and make it suck. Most things, that guys like to do, get done alone and if you think that you can fill in for another guy and Pitch, or Steer, or Row, or Lift, you're just going to get yelled at... until you quit, and then he's going to have to apologize.

My advice to you: Go make some girl friends.