Turned on by Cheating

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- I love my wife, yet one of the greatest turn-ons for me is cheating on her. -BlahBlahBlah- It's kind of like the ultimate forbidden passion for a betrothed soul. Even a brief flirtation -BlahBlahBlah- I find the allure of a forbidden liasion almost unbearable -BlahBlahBlah- is this the same for all married men ? The last thing in the world I want to do is hurt my wife -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Ever since the onset of your sexual identity, you've been pretty much devoted to finding someone to hump. I can't speak for any married man but I'd assume that it's difficult for most guys to phase out the behavior of always seeking a chick to bang.
Think of all the associations you were making with sex when you were ages 13-22.
A girl to hump is:
---A. of vital importance
---B. hard to achieve
---C. delightful to imagine
---D. impossible to predict
The woes of A and B are pretty much gone thanks to your wife. On the other hand, C and D are magnified thanks to your wife. And also keep in mind that your wife represents to the world that you're worth something in the eyes of a woman- so think about how much fun you had NOT getting laid when you were 16, then imagine the same strife only now you're older and fatter; that's you divorced for cheating.

My advice to you: Every time you M-bate, admit to yourself that you're happy you didn't actually cheat on your wife.