Downgraded from BFF to Just Friend

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- I was kinda bored today and so I started to text friends, and I sent one to her:

Me: Whats up?
Her: I'm busy >:(
Me: -BlahBlahBlah- I didn't know. ttyl.
Her: Ok sara b4 u leave can i tell u something that will hurt u.
Me: Go ahead. -BlahBlahBlah-
Her: Ur not my bff srry but ur my just friend.
Me: -BlahBlahBlah- Alright I can understand that...is that it?
Her: Yes and im not ur bff ok?
Me: -BlahBlahBlah- I read it the first time XD why did u say that twice? -BlahBlahBlah-
Her: I didnt
Me: Well from the other text...oh whatever. -BlahBlahBlah-

- At this point -BlahBlahBlah- she is ignoring me. She has this one friend she went to see eclipes with, and they are close too, -BlahBlahBlah- her BFFFFFF (or whatever she calls it) is probably -BlahBlahBlah-

-BlahBlahBlah- how can I exactly feel normal again? It feels weird thinking I am just a friend to her. -BlahBlahBlah-


Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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What the fuck! When you tell someone that you're BFF's, it's forever. You can't just walk out on that.

Are you sure this isn't a Team Jacob thing?
Team Edward obviously knows the definition of forever.

But seriously, that bitch needs to be taught a lesson.
What you should do is gather up all the shit of hers that's in your room, and item by item, bring something of hers to school each day which she'll have to carry around as a reminder - to her and the whole school - of what a rotten person she is.

Also, you definitely deserve some closure.
Make sure you get it in a public place so she can't punk out and ignore you.

As far as how to get you to feel normal again,

My advice to you: Stop BFF-ing people. You're a BFF bottom, which means you'll never be any cooler than your BFF, so if you want to be popular, you're going to have to become cool on your own.

Mom Suggests I Should Stop Wearing Black

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- My mom -BlahBlahBlah- started telling me that she wanted me to make more friends at a camp in which we have a permanent campsite and spend almost every weekend at. -BlahBlahBlah- I'm goth, -BlahBlahBlah- I honestly do try to make friends with other girls, but no one takes me seriously -BlahBlahBlah- makes fun of me. -BlahBlahBlah- I told my mom this,and she told me that maybe I should stop wearing black. This is the same mother who has been proud of me for being who I am instead of giving in to peer pressure and encourages me to be who I want to be. -BlahBlahBlah- I have plenty of friends at home, -BlahBlahBlah- She also said that "I haven't been happy lately". I've been perfectly fine! Just because I'm goth doesn't mean I'm incapable of feeling, -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-

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With most mass-marketed youth cultures, you start out as a poser and then you graduate into petty crime or becoming sorta good at riding a skate board.

With the freedom that your mom gave you (to march to your own drum) you picked a "sub culture," which comes to fruition once you're branded as a pariah.

Realistically, you made a shit decision and parental intervention is appropriate.

My advice to you: Take a break from your independence and let your mom make some of your decisions until you've spent enough time outside your comfort zone to earn being cool.

Getting Tested Before Dating

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- Should I get a girl to do a blood test to test for STDs before we date? -BlahBlahBlah- I just figure its the safest way to know that I am not going to catch anything. -BlahBlahBlah- -BlahBlahBlah- I just dont trust girls these days. Too many dishonest liars. I would feel much better -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Dude, you never get laid and everyone reading this can already smell it.

No self-respecting girl is going to get tested before you go on a date, and I am stone-cold fucking certain that no girl is going to bring her results to Red Robin so you can confirm she's clean when you finally go out.

So why would a guy who doesn't get laid think that this would be a smart move?

Because, guys like you daydream by the HiFi, preparing for bullshit scenarios where they might get the chance to project themselves as potent to women.

You fucking think - and don't even try to deny it - that there's a chance that the mention of this precaution might make a girl's subconscious go "Yum, I can't wait to have this seasoned, yet responsible cock, fuck me without a rubber."

My advice to you: Act normal and avoid STI's the regular way... like everyone else.

Pigs as Pets

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah-I dont like sports and do no activities...i'm just not interested in them. I really want a pet. Not a small pet, I have a gerbil. And we have a family dog and cat...but I want my own, big pet. -BlahBlahBlah-I really want a pig! Theres a breed called guinnea pot belly pig thats small but still a pig. Pigs are just like dogs and we have a dog so -BlahBlahBlah-mom refuses. I have the money and the -BlahBlahBlah- I consider myself an interesting person so I want an interesting pet thats mine. -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Before I address what a stupid fucking idea owning a pig is, let me just state that if you've lost interest in a small caged animal (like your gerbil) and you have not set it free, then you are a shitty, fucking person..

Oh and you don't play sports nor have any interests? What the fuck makes you an interesting person?

Here's a myth I'm going to dispel right here and now: "Pigs make very good pets."
No they fucking don't. Animals (including pigs) cannot make anything, with the exception of making your money turn into shit (literally).

GOOD PET OWNERS MAKE VERY GOOD PETS via love, time and effort.
You've already failed with a gerbil and now you want to step it up to an animal that's 36 times bigger?

My advice to you: If your only hope of having a personality is to manufacture one based on possessions, then use clothes and cars to project how much you want people to think you don't suck.