Stringing Her Along

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- I met my ex about 3 months ago, -BlahBlahBlah- I was pasty and was a little overweight. I was nice to her, I just didn't make her a priority. -BlahBlahBlah- I didn't take her on a lot of dates, never bought her flowers or chocolate and never gave her anything. -BlahBlahBlah- We'd have sex a lot and she made the comment that we spend too much time in the bedroom. The week before we broke up we seemed fine -BlahBlahBlah- She started crying after she told me she wanted to break up. -BlahBlahBlah- It's ben two weeks since we last spoke but yesterday I sent her a -BlahBlahBlah- coffee as friends. She was a little flirty and then said "yeah that sounds good :)". -BlahBlahBlah- I've lost 21 pounds since she saw me last, am tan and am willing to show her that I can be a good guy but I first need to finish fixing myself. -BlahBlahBlah- I want to keep her as a friend but how do I keep her from moving on??




Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Dude, I don't know if that timeline was off by several months, but that's a lot of weight to lose in such a short amount of time.
Congrats on the tan, brah.

I don't know if you caught this, but she dumped you because you were inattentive.
She cried when she dumped you because you failed to go "No baby, I'll try harder."

Do you really think that she'll be manipulated against her better judgement because you're thin and bronze now?

I can't say if the root of your shitty-ness is the people who surround you, or perhaps the TV that you watch, but you're a self consumed fucker, who probably can't "fix" himself in less than the 3 months that she's already waited for you.

Already knowing that she's not going to put up with your bullshit, what you need to do is juggle between your self obsession, and her need to be valued in a relationship.

My advice to you: Tell her your grandma died, and you don't want to be alone... but when you do want to be alone, tell her you need some space to grieve. She'll probably fall for that.

Why Doesn't My Boyfriend Want to Go Out?

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah-So my question is, is this domestic down time really the most favorite style of being with a woman. Or is it that it takes the least amount of effort , cheapest and most relaxing? It`s not that I expect to be entertained all of the time, but once in a while doing something is nice, and it seems to be like pulling teeth with alot of guys. They seem to just want to chill at home.

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Look, the endless pursuit of pussy puts single guys in an awful situation. We're practically forced to go to the places where you like to go, and you don't even notice that we show up. Then you cut in front of us in line to order your fruity, 7-minute drinks, and then the fucker who let you cut gets tipped for taking the cap off my $4 beer.

While you're there having a good time with your friends, we're fucking miserable. We can't even chat with each other because your slut jams are too loud to yell over, yet we remain convinced that going to these places is worth the risk of a D.U.I.

And what do we have to show for all of this? A hang-over, fast-food trash and an over-draft fee.

Regardless of how much we go out, we end up meeting you. And then we get dragged out by buddies to the same stupid places you like to go - and no longer wrapped up in the hunt - we realize that we'd be having more fun at home with you, tickling your left foot, while your right foot throws kicks at our face.

So, post this revelation, it's decided that going out is literally worse than a kick in the fucking face!

Had you attempted to match HALF the efforts we put in - before we even met you - you probably wouldn't suck so bad at Xbox.

My advice to you: If you want to go out, then do a better job of selling us on it.