I Try to Always Use Condoms But

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah-usually I always make the guy wear a condom bc my mom wont let me take birth control. -BlahBlahBlah-last nite my ex was over and the condoms he had werent lubricated and it didnt work. -BlahBlahBlah- I tried gettin him to wear ones i had gotten...but it didnt fit. -BlahBlahBlah- we ended up having sex anyway, -BlahBlahBlah- he pulled out. -BlahBlahBlah- I'm afraid that he may have pre-ejaculated nd I could end up pregnant. How soon can I take a test, and how the hell would I tell him if I am? -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Wow, this is actually pretty genius. For those of you who are about to spend the next 25 minutes looking into this, trust me, I've exhausted the search.

They do not sell non-lubricated Magnums.

What this means is that your genius ex-boyfriend carries non-lubricated condoms with the intentions of not having to use them. Then, if another condom is brought into the picture, it conveniently doesn't fit. Seriously, if a guy accidentally ends up with a non-lubricated condom, he'll spit into his hand until he can make it work.

Had you exercised restraint, and proclaimed "no glove!" I'm sure he would have miraculously fit into your rubber. That, and you wouldn't be all worried that you might be pregnant.


My advice to you: Tell your mom why you might be pregnant so that she'll put you on birth control.

Formerly Homeless, Still Unemployed

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Dear Right Advice
-BlahBlahBlah- I moved to Atlanta -BlahBlahBlah- my ex boyfriend called me and said he was homeless -BlahBlahBlah- I took him in.I told him, before he moved in, he would have to get a job and he would have to help me pay bills, -BlahBlahBlah- 6 months later ....He still has no job, and we are about to be evicted. Since he moved in, we have gone through 15000$ -BlahBlahBlah- My family refuses to help me while he is there.If I kick him out, he will be homeless.If I don't kick him out, we will both be homeless.

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Your ex is unwelcome in your home and he is ruining your life. And you need Advice??????
I figure you're bringing this to me in hopes that I have some creative way to help you not feel like a bad person for kicking this guy out. I don't have one. I mean, you might be able to call your family, ask them for a wire so you can pay your bills and also cut this guy a check for $200 (that's a good price for having a parasite removed). But rest assured that there are places for this guy to go. If he can't get into the Army then he'll definitely find a niche in jail.

My advice to you: Learn quick that un-fucking yourself does not always make you a bad person.