Creepy, Leering Neighbor

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah-There's a man who lives in my building, who is much older (15 years, maybe more), who I'm not attracted to at all -BlahBlahBlah- A little while ago, some neighbors were talking, -BlahBlahBlah-They introduced me to him. . -BlahBlahBlah- a couple of weeks later, I'm doing my laundry at the laundromat, I can feel someone staring at me. It's the same older man. .he continues grinning like an idiot at me, and trying to get me to look at him. -BlahBlahBlah-I quickly looked away, -BlahBlahBlah-I didn't even look at him as he was talking to me, and hurried out. -BlahBlahBlah- a couple of days ago, as I'm leaving my apartment -BlahBlahBlah- I hear this voice, and it's him, trying to strike up conversation with me. Once I saw who it was, I quickly looked away, and walked as fast as I could. -BlahBlahBlah- This man can't seem to get the clue that I'm not interested. -BlahBlahBlah- This man gives me the creeps. -BlahBlahBlah-


Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Look, I get it. Our patriarchal, rape culture imposes upon women the insistence that you should all keep your head on a swivel just in case you might accidentally give off hints that you're asking for it because creepy men are forgivably enslaved by their uncontrollable libidos.

But if you liberate yourself from this oppressive mind set, what this boils down to is that this stalker-ish man is just an asshole with bad manners.

In the realm of rigid gender roles, you're perfectly within your right to seize your role and alert this guy to the fact that he's being fucking rude.

It's rude to stare.

Are you that fucking afraid that some creep is going to accuse you of being a lesbian? Come the fuck on!



My advice to you: Give him a manners check. It's not getting uppity... it's acting "ladylike."

Gingerism

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- Thursday night a kid in my grade (9th) -BlahBlahBlah- who's a skater -BlahBlahBlah- has a good amount of friends -BlahBlahBlah- has red hair -BlahBlahBlah- his name is Jon -BlahBlahBlah- put his Facebook status as

jersey shore =gay

-BlahBlahBlah- a 11th grader bob who's really popular commented on it

Jon= flaming Ginger who's scared to come out of the closet.

-BlahBlahBlah- bob makes fun of everyone and has alwAsys made fun of Jon -BlahBlahBlah- last year bob got inna car accedent and an old lady died -BlahBlahBlah- Jon commented back

bob =old lady killer

-BlahBlahBlah- apologized immedetly -BlahBlahBlah- Friday at lunch bob pushed Jon into a wall and proceeded to punch him multiple times -BlahBlahBlah- Jon ducked once and made bob punch thebbrick wall and it broke bobs hand -BlahBlahBlah- Jon is suspended not bob -BlahBlahBlah- everyone is taking bobs side because he is popular. -BlahBlahBlah- The school is even taking bobs side -BlahBlahBlah- I know when Jon comes back he will get beat up -BlahBlahBlah- I want to talk to someone in the school so they understand his but I don't know how. -BlahBlahBlah-


Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Dude, you're not going to get anywhere with the school administration. You might get one adult to agree that this is an injustice, but they're not going to stick their neck out for some Ginger skater.

Shot callers in schools cannot retract their decisions, even when they're shitty decisions. What's going to happen is before Jon gets off suspension, there will be a meeting with parents behind closed doors, and the concession made for Jon is he will not be punished any further for this bullshit. There will be no apology and no reparations for the days he's missed.

There are a lot of adults involved in suspending a kid. Thus, when a kid is suspended unjustly, a lot of adults stand to look really stupid. Shot callers can't go around stabbing those adults in the back. It breeds descent.
And that kid will be gone in just a couple short years, so fuck it, what's a couple pissed off Gingers?

Further more there's this bullshit misalignment between a popular kid's tramatic killing of an old lady, and the ridicule that gingers have to put up with in school.

Even the staff of the school thinks it's sorta funny that redheads are getting called gingers.

If you're getting bullied because you've got red hair, and you're not fat and/or gay, then you're just going to have to suck it up because nobody is going to give a shit. You're fair fucking game. It's just the way things are.

Perhaps one day Gingerism will be part of a grad program's curriculum but until then, all the bleeding heart do-gooders, who should be protecting you, will be busy protecting the fat and/or gay kids.

Now as far as the legend of Jon vs. Bob goes, Jon broke Bob's hand in a fight and got suspended. Nice work Ginger.

It's just too bad that the precedent has been set by the school's administration that there is no consequence for punching you repeatedly in the face with bone breaking blows.

On the flip side, when you return to school, and someone tries to fight you over this bullshit, even more adults will be involved at which point you'll have the opportunity to point out that you have to fight for survival because it's been documented that when you fall victim to violence, your attackers don't get in trouble.

My advice to Jon: The next time Bob starts shit with you, go at his face with your fucking keys. No matter what, you'll be getting off scot-free. That's the shit that legends are made of.

Sex Rumor Spreading

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- I started talking to this guy called Tom a couple of weeks ago, and he has a huge reputation. -BlahBlahBlah- he's fingered 15 girls and had sex with 7 of them! -BlahBlahBlah- I'm not the slutty type of girl at all. I've rejected every guy who's ever asked me out -BlahBlahBlah- I've never met anybody really worth a relationship. So yesterday, I was informed by this guy I don't know named Nick -BlahBlahBlah- there's a rumour going around that I had sex with Tom! I was like, what the hell?! I've never even met Tom and now everyone thinks I had sex with him! Help meee please :/ -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Honestly, I'm kind of surprised that he isn't going around saying he fingered you. It sort of makes sex seem like that much more of a stretch.


It doesn't seem likely that this guy has actually fingered 15 girls because most guys stop counting just before 10. I'm not saying that guys might forget the magical experience of fingering you once they pass half a dozen girls, but when asked "how many," it's supposed to take a few minutes to add it up.


Being that Nick came to verify if you'd slept with Tom, you should rest assured that Tom is already gaining the reputation of a liar.


Now there's usually some sort of truth to rumors, and the truth here (most likely) is that when you were chatting with him, you gave him the impression that you were DTF.


He probably got that impression when you started discussing the 15 girls he's fingered.




My advice to you: Leave it be. Nick's own insecurities will inspire him to let the school know that Tom's a liar.

How Could I Have Defended Her Honor?

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- I was walking back from weights class w/ my girlfriend right before we go to locker rooms. -BlahBlahBlah- Another kid in my class yells to me in a joking way, "hey dont bother with (name), she's s***ing my d*ck first." -BlahBlahBlah- I'm not sure what my reaction should be to this. I dont want to overreact, but its still harrassment to me and her even if jokingly. -BlahBlahBlah- I just want to say something to kind of come back, not just ignore or fake a laugh. -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Whoa! That kid punked you three times over. He dissed your girlfriend, emasculated you, and then proved that you won't do shit.

If he had punked you once a day for three days, would you still have acted like a little bitch on the 3rd day?

Honestly you probably handled it the right way. It's not uncommon for a girl to get dissed, then get mad at her boyfriend for "acting all scary," after he tries to do something about it.

Moving forward, I'd like to suggest that you opt for aggressive, homo-erotic statements. I know that saying anything "gay," in high school, could seem like an overt invitation for more ridicule, but times have changed.

It's sort of cool to be hetero-blurry now, and if you can't handle the repercussions, just involve an adult by saying you're the target of hate crimes AND sexual harassment.

In this situation you could have responded with "Actually, she's planning to make You suck My dick."

If that would not have ended it with laughs, then you could have followed that up with "Let's see if you got jokes when I'm fucking you in the street."

Something you should know about daytime guy-fights, at least the ones that aren't planned in advance, is that most often the parties involved are hoping the fight will be broken up before anyone's pride gets hurt. Furthermore, anyone who knows how to fight will not pick a fight because either they're disciplined (martial arts style) or they know they'll be facing severe consequences (prior offenses wise).

If random shit talking turns into a scrap, you're basically walking into wild punches and some sloppy ground fighting. If you play the prison-daddy card, then you can avoid that shit. It's easy to block punches when you're not trying to punch, and it's easy to keep your balance when you're not shooting for a take-down. Just roll in quick, hold him close, hold him tight and keep saying "Kiss me bitch."

Try not to do this more than once at the same school, though.

And keep in mind that you're running the risk of "acting all scary" in front of your girlfriend.

My advice to you: If you're with your girlfriend and you're not sure how to respond to a shit talker, then keep them talking until she gives you a cue.