Is This a Trap?

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Dear Right Advice,

-BlahBlahBlah- in my Algebra 2 class I was talking to one of my friends about nerds & runescape, -BlahBlahBlah- i used to play it a lot. Well, today this really hott, popular, senior guy comes up to me and is like "do you play runescape?" -BlahBlahBlah- confused i stuttered and said "uhh....kinda" -BlahBlahBlah- he asked for my runescape name, and he gave me his too. -BlahBlahBlah- He said i should start playing again -BlahBlahBlah- I am not popular, or that pretty, and i'm just so confused on why he would even talk to me in the first place. -BlahBlahBlah- Is this some kind of sick joke to get me to like him and than he'll fuck me over? -BlahBlahBlah- maybe he thinks i'm really easy because my reputation is kind of whorish. -BlahBlahBlah-

http://i51.tinypic.com/1pgjky.jpg

^^^ Doug

http://i54.tinypic.com/w856p5.jpg

^^im on the right

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Something you should know about movies is that they're fake and mainly written by men who didn't function well in high school. There is no elite clique of popular kids plotting to ruin your prom. I promise.

Something you should know about boys is that they jack off... all the time.

Sometimes they jack off to porn, sometimes they jack off to the yearbook and sometimes they jack off in bed with their eyes closed.

When in bed with the eyes closed, boys can't just lay back and M-bate; they have to think of something dirty. Many of these dirty thoughts are composed of memories from summers past, where they fingered a girl or got a half-job through their jeans. They're heavily rooted in reality because reality is the most fertile setting for the imagination.

Now it's likely that: Dude just really likes Runescape. But what I'm thinking is that he's M-bated a few times with you on the back of his eyelids.

For a white, teenager with a lot of computer time, you're like... perfect M-bate material. Your thin, exotic look, along with your low self esteem and whorish reputation make it way easy to dream up a fairly plausible scandal with a fuckable yet attainable girl from school.

Weaving that fantasy into Runescape will be like deep fried pornography for this kid.

Oh No! A handsome, white boy whose parents are probably rich might be stroking at you through Ventrilo!

My advice to you: Go for it! Just be sure you always log out before he does, and use the spice and ice approach to tease him into thinking he loves you.

I Keep Hurting Ugly Girls' Feelings.

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Dear Right Advice,
-BlahBlahBlah- I genuinely like them, in a friend way. -BlahBlahBlah- They'll think I'm gay but I don't need my entire community setting me up on dates with the local homosexuals -BlahBlahBlah- So I tell these women that I'm unattracted to them. -BlahBlahBlah- they don't understand how we can get along so well as friends -BlahBlahBlah- go on and on about how good they treat me -BlahBlahBlah- I agree with them on that, and tell them I find them physically unattractive. Most times this ends up hurting their feelings -BlahBlahBlah- They usually get very angry and upset and then -BlahBlahBlah- trying to convince me that if I just give them a try, -BlahBlahBlah- will work out. So, what do I do? If I give into her, I'm with someone I don't want to be with -BlahBlahBlah- If I stand my ground and admit that I find her very unattractive, she gets hurt -BlahBlahBlah-

Sincerely,
-BlahBlahBlah-
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Too bad, most girls can't tell the difference between Jerks and Fucking Idiots. You, my friend, are a fucking idiot... but they're probably telling everyone that you're a jerk.

My advice to you: Start letting them give you hummers and then you'll have probable lies to tell them for why you don't want to be romantically involved. Additionally, stop watching porn. Stick to this plan and I'm sure that in 9 months you'll be more attracted to the girls who throw themselves at you.